Behind the Mask of Manipulation

Emotional manipulation penetrates almost every disorder and complicates many lives and relationships. People who use emotional manipulation hide beneath the mask of love, concern, dedication, and friendship, while using guilt, button-pushing, subtle anger, and many types of covert ploys to keep their victims in place, getting their victims to do whatever they want. The words of Emotional Manipulators have multiple meanings hiding their true and scheming motives. They carefully maneuver between that fine balance of skimpily giving to others but getting so much more. They are masters of getting others to believe they are doing everything for them while hiding their "what’s in it for me" motives. They carefully craft every sentence with their own selfish needs hidden between each word.

This seminar is a thorough investigation into the various types of emotional manipulation commonly associated with disorders such as antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Although many people are excellent emotional manipulators, they are not personality disordered. However, research finds that emotional manipulation is also utilized by abusers and their victims; sex offenders; and even bosses who emotionally manipulate their employees! Additionally, this dynamic is often found in the home when children and adult-children emotionally manipulate their parents, or parents emotionally manipulate their children. This program focuses on helping mental health care professionals recognize these individuals and begin intervention with their victims to minimize their destructive behavior. Participants will learn what drives Emotional Manipulators; the vulnerable thoughts of their victims; and how Emotional Manipulators continually manipulate their victims. Most importantly, professionals will discover how to help victims develop coping techniques to lessen the impact of emotional manipulation. At the end of the day, attendees will leave with a deeper understanding of Emotional Manipulators, their victims, and methods to assist these individuals in disengaging from unhealthy communication.

Course Content

DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION

u          A working definition of emotional manipulation

u          A composite of many definitions

u          Examples of Emotional Manipulators

TEN TYPES OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATORS          

u          The Constant Victim

u          The One-Upmanship Expert

u          Powerful Dependents

u          The Triangulators

u          The Blasters

u          The Projectors

u          The Misinterpreters

u          The Flirts

u          The Iron Fist

u          The Multiple Offender

THE TOOLS OF THE EMOTIONAL MANIPULATOR:

WITH DEFINITIONS AND EXAMPLES!

u          Guilt is their specialty

u          Pretending to be victimized by the victim

u          Changing the meaning of words

u          Powerful dependencies

u          Entitlement

u          Covert badgering

u          Hiding behind the mask

u          Irritability

u          Experts in triangulation

u          Pretending to be ill or suicidal

u          Using provocative behavior

u          The deceptions of constantly being misunderstood

u          How they attack their victim’s self-esteem

u          Isolate, destroy and enjoy the effect!

u          Manipulative disappointment

u          How they pretend: “No one understands like you do”

u          The smoke screen they utilize

u          How they pretend: “I’m your number one fan”

u          How they use enticements for desired behavior

THE MAGICAL THOUGHTS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATORS

u          If I am pompous, I avoid shame

u          If I am a victim, I have power

u          If I triangulate, I get revenge

u          If I promise love, I get sex

u          If I blame you, you will give me what I want

u          If I break you, I own you

u          If I indulge, I am the preferred parent

u          If I threaten or pressure, I motivate

TEN WAYS EMOTIONAL MANIPULATORS TEST FOR VULNERABILITIES

TO FIND THEIR VICTIMS

u          The pen test

u          Grooming—”Getting to know you, getting to know all about you”

u          Testing for dependencies

u          The shotgun blast

u          Sympathetic attitude to learn their victim’s history

u          Categorizing people

u          Test for desperateness—cat and mouse when first getting to know their victim

u          Deluge the new victim with every type of attention

u          Extreme interest

u          Impressing their victim—the test of shallowness

THE QUALITIES AND MAGICAL THOUGHTS OF THEIR VICTIMS

u          Co-dependent

u          Looking for love—desperately

u          Perceive bad qualities of manipulators as strength

u          Caring and loving

u          Want to please/feel overly responsible

u          Unfulfilled needs

u          Abuse and/or neglected in childhood

u          Vulnerable

u          Passionate

u          Immune to falling out of love

TECHNIQUES TO STOP VICTIMS FROM BEING VICTIMS

u          Changing their perception of the Emotional Manipulator

u          Adjust the perception of a victim into a survivor

u          Re-structuring the survivor’s cognitive distortions

u          Creating healthy barriers between the Emotional Manipulator and the survivor

u          Teaching survivors to recognize their own vulnerabilities

u          Instruct survivors to more easily recognize Emotional Manipulators